Thursday, September 19, 2013

Mitochondrial Disease Awareness Week

It's now the end of day 5 of mitochondrial disease awareness week. I thought I would update the blog on Audrey. Looking back I saw my last update was in November of last year! There are 3 saved drafts that I never finished or published. Sometimes its so overwhelming, so discouraging to put into words what is going on in your life. Not my life. My daughter's life. This blog, this week is about my 4 year old daughter. I would do anything to change the fact that she has "a week." She has this awful disease which is given one week once a year for people to hear about it. My friends are tired of hearing about it. It's sad. It's depressing. Half of my friends are with me, actively losing pieces of our children everyday. The other half don't want to talk about it, don't want to know. I wish I had that luxury.

SO here goes. This is what's knew with Audrey...

November of last year Audrey had her PICC line in her arm switched to a central line in her chest. Central lines are inherently more risky as they are fed into major veins and go very close to your heart. Any little wisp of infection can quickly escalate to a life or death situation. Despite this risk, these are considered permanent lines. This means they can last as long as needed, indefinitely really. The surgery and placement went fine. She had a lot of bleeding and bruising to the surprise of her surgeon, but aside from that there were not any complications. And she developed an ileus. If you know anything about bowel motility an ileus is a bad thing. The intestines basically freeze. Everytime Audrey is put under general anesthesia, she is at risk for developing an ileus. When she wakes up it can take days or weeks for her intestines to wake up. In this case it was weeks though really she's never been the same since. She went into the hospital on her same 17mls/hr of feeds that she had been on since May, and left with no feeds at all. Since that time we have struggled to get her to tolerate anything.

In December, we had the life or death experience with Audrey that we feared most with her central line. Within 3 hours Audrey went from tired but happy and playing to being unresponsive in the emergency room requiring massive amounts of fluids to stabilize her. Though her blood cultures never confirmed anything, that is an experience that I will never forget. I stood in that emergency room by myself, watching as doctors and nurses surrounded my little 3 year old who wouldn't wake up at all. They had bags of IV fluids hanging in pressure bags and oxygen and the ICU physicians were there to help manage her. It was a few more rough days but after tons and tons of fluid and strong antibiotics, she was finally sent home doing much better.

We had some down time after that. Her fluid that she received everyday was adjusted and she seemed to do ok. Except her feeding. While we occasionally were able to get her back up to her 17mls, it never lasted long. And so, this year has been dominated by feeding intolerance. We've gone from seeing her GI doctor every 3 months to every 2 months and now every month. Audrey's been in the hospital every month except January and June. 10 months out of the last 12 months she has spent in the hospital. As of today, Audrey has been off feeds for 8 weeks. She is completely, 100% reliant on the IV nutrition that she receives through her central line. If anyone knows anything about TPN you know this is not a good situation. Many people see her and think she looks great. She is very tall for her age. She has gained over 30lbs in the last year. This is not a good weight though. She is retaining fluid not only in her face and her tissues but in the lining of her intestines. The TPN is slowly but surely taking its toll on her liver. You see, all of that dextrose and vitamins which go directly in her bloodstream, go directly into her liver to be processed and broken down. Livers aren't made to do this day in and day out. Livers like to make bile to breakdown food in your intestines and then receive the nutrients after they've been processed. To say Audrey's liver is unhappy would be putting it mildly. This is a dangerous game. Liver failure can come quickly and severely. Everyday that Audrey lives without feeding in her intestines is another strike against her liver. This makes feeding Audrey a number one priority.

Along with her GI dysmotility, Audrey has developed a neurogenic bladder. The same nerves to go to the intestines and regulate proper movement there, also go the the bladder to regulate proper retention and drainage. Due to this dysmotility Audrey now requires intermittent catheterization. Every 4 hours we have to help her bladder empty to prevent infections and damage to her kidneys. This was very traumatic for her at the beginning, but like everything else, she has adjusted quickly and realizes it as part of her life. That calm acceptance is almost as hard for me to see as the kicking, screaming fight.

Earlier this year we were finally able to get Audrey's genetic testing completed. Last year she had her muscle biopsy which confirmed her mitochondrial disease. It showed she had NADH cytochrome C reductase deficiency. But it didn't answer why. Why does Audrey have this major defect in her respiratory chain? So we took a saliva sample from Audrey (which was not nearly as easy as it should have been) and the doctors looked at the DNA of her mitochondria and of the nucleus of her cells. In May we learned Audrey has 3 genetic mutations in the nucleus which are causing her mitochondrial disease. The problem is that this testing and these results are so new, that no one really knows what to do with this information. Yes they can tell that these 3 mutations are likely significant to Audrey, but they can't really say what will happen, how to treat it or even how they interact with each other. Only time and more testing and more research will give us these answers. But with these results Audrey's geneticist took a gamble. He read one research study which had some positive results with extreme treatment of one of Audrey's mutations. With that he decided to give it a try on his patients with this mutation. And that is how Audrey has ended up on N-Aceytlcysteine or NAC for short. NAC has been used for many years in different situations. Most well known in medical world for treatment of tylenol overdose and inhaled for cystic fibrosis, in Audrey NAC works as a super antioxidant that helps rid her mitochondria of the free radicals which cause premature cell death. The initial oral trial went well. Audrey had more energy than she'd had in over a year. Soon though it became obvious with NAC on board Audrey's cells worked but NAC has a short half life so as soon as it was wearing off ( about 2 hours) her glucose would plummet and we were hard pressed to be able to get it back up without giving more NAC. The decision was made to put Audrey on IV NAC. She's the first patient, in the world as far as we know, to be sent home on IV NAC for a long term treatment. We don't know what this drug will do to her long term. We don't know if the benefits of stable glucose and increased energy will be worth the risks of whatever maybe happening with the long term use. We hope that long term will preven the inevitable damage and progression that happens in mitochondrial disease. We even hope that it may reverse some of the damage done. The medical books are literally being written each day that my daughter lives. So far so good. We don't have any symptoms that we can attribute to NAC though only time will tell. 

This leads me to Audrey's doctors. Without these amazing people my daughter would not be here today. From her pediatrician who pushed with me when we knew something was wrong with Audrey though none of the tests showed what. Who is there for me, anytime that I need her, day or night, week day or weekend. Who has admitted Audrey to the hospital twice while on vacation. Who listens to me complain and understands when I cry and who makes Audrey happy with her pretty jewelry and gentle but through ways. We love and appreciate Dr. G more than she could ever know.

Audrey's geneticist Dr. B. He has taken a chance with her. He has tried new and novel therapies on a hunch and a few laboratory studies. He is willing to take a chance and think out of the box because he knows mitochondrial disease is round and will never fit in the square box. He knew what was wrong with her before we had the tests to prove it. He knew from day one what we were dealing with and he has tried tirelessly to minimize her symptoms and slow her disease progression.

And finally Dr. B, Audrey's GI doctor. He is the newest member to Audrey's team, only coming on last November, but at this point he is the key player. Dr. B has been working with me, communicating by phone and email and managing her numerous admissions all to try to avoid the damage that is slowly happening. He is working desperately to help save our mito children. He manages Audrey's IV fluids and line and feedings. He works so hard to manage the extreme GI symptoms of a disease that is not in her GI tract. For all of his hard work Audrey's disease is not one of gastroenterology, but one on the cellular level. This means that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be able to fix her system. This does not stop him from trying his hardest to help her body function to the best of it's ability, to minimize the side effects that the treatment is having on her. Dr. B gets to see me at my worst, my most frustrated, my most discouraged. Despite that all, he remains a kind and caring doctor who we have been very lucky to have on Audrey's team.

Audrey has many other doctors including her kind and compassionate pulmonologist who has supported Audrey's lung and oxygen needs when once again she shouldn't have any. She see's cardiology and ENT and orthopedics and the list goes on and is every expanding She has worked with many teams of doctors inpatient who strive to manage and understand this enormous disease in the space of a few days. Who try so hard to grasp what goes on in her body day to day which is not mentioned or described in any medical book. These doctors, together, are keeping Audrey alive and growing and for that I will forever be grateful to them.

So this is where we are with my girl. Nearly a year after my last blog, Audrey is continuing to battle against the progression of her mitochondrial disease. She is fighting for her life everyday. She is supported by a team of amazing doctors who are willing to think outside the box and try novel therapies in hopes of saving Audrey and the many other children like her. I can only hope and pray everyday that one day, one therapy, one medication will be the key, will turn her life around so she can stop fighting and start living.  


This is me trying to collect 1ml of saliva for Audrey's genetic test. Next time we'll just draw blood :)
  

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

4 years

Tonight I tucked my 3 year old in for bed for the last time. Tomorrow night, when she closes her pretty eyes, she will be 4 years old. For all mothers, seeing their children grow is met with mixed blessings. We are excited to see them learn and develop but sad to lose our baby. This is even more so for a mother of a chronically ill child. Each birthday we celebrate as a success, a battle of will, determination and medical progress which has given her another year of life. But each birthday also reminds me of all that she has lost and the things that can't be done. This year is a perfect example as I planned a party for her for the first time since she was a year old. This year Audrey has looked forward to her birthday unlike all the others. So we bravely set a date which is the big unknown when you live half your life in the hospital. Sure enough we have spent the past week inpatient. While we are out before the day of her party, this admission has left her tired and weak. Our house is a mess from the 3 deliveries of supplies which came during her stay. I am emotionally drained. This is her 6th admission in the past 8 months. The only months she was not inpatient was February and June though both of those months had procedures and appointments in the hospital. So I have rescheduled her birthday party. I hope by next week I can pull everything together, including myslef, and give her the party I have been planning for the past few months.

 Tomorrow, we will be going to Disneyland. Yes I just said she is tired and weak and yes it has been over 90 degrees with probably as much humidity, but this is what she wants and I cannot find it inside me to keep denying her the ability to live like any other 4 year old. So tonight I'm packing. A day spent at disneyland is a big undertaking for her and the weather only complicates it further. She has medications due every 6 hours, some are refridgerated and some are not. She has oxygen tanks to be packed and cooling vests with extra ice packs. Every night at 7pm I change her IV fluid. She has one bag which contains all of her nutrition (TPN) and one bag that has continuous medication, once again one is refridgerated and one is room temperature. Room temperature is not 90 degrees. That means I will need to plan where I am at at 7pm. In all likelyhood we will not still be at Disneyland since that is a very long day, but we cannot be sitting on the 5 freeway in traffic either. I will also need to bring extra IV fluids. Dehydration can happen suddenly and severely in mito kids and Audrey is at high risk right now with her new medication regimen. I have a feeling we will be saying hello to Disney's wonderful first aid staff once again. But all this is worth it. I will gladly do all this and a thousand more tasks to make her happy. To let her have a day that isn't about hospitals and doctors and medications. My birthday present for my sweet girl, is for a year of doing all the things her 4 year old self wants to do. I would like a year where I can schedule doctors appointments around her school and activity schedule instead of the other way around. A year when she thanks me at night for going to Disneyland instead of going to the hospital. A year when she doesn't learn about her body through invasive tests and procedures but through growing and exploring like any other child. I want my daughter to have one year as a normal child as she hasn't had since she was a year old.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Bumps in the road

So November was a busy month for us. Audrey continued to have oozing from her PICC line so her team of doctors decided placing a new, more permenat line would be best for her. Due to her glucose/ fluid issues she had to go into the hospital the day before surgery to stop her feeds. Her surgery was done on November 7th. This was the 8th time she had been under anesthesia this year. Since she's 3 now she's more verbal and knows what she does and more importantly what she does not want. So per op scared her until she got her happy medicine (versed makes her chuckle). Once she woke up in recovery she was not happy! She wouldn't look at or talk to anyone. She was also vey pale and drowsy. She ended up needing another blood transfusion and was eventually sent home on half strength feeds again. We thought we were in the clear now. Then, not even a week later her new line starts bleeding! Not again! After a quick trip to visit the surgeon it's determined the line is fine so it must be Audrey. We are waiting to hear back from her pediatrician about her work up for bleeding problems.

Audrey had her post tonsillectomy sleep study. The good news is she has no more obstruction! Yay! Unfortunately she still had some desats during sleep so she will stay on her 1/4L. She is also still needing her o2 during the day. We can't wait to get rid of oxygen!

This month Audrey added a new GI doctor to her team. We have high hopes we will get her to a better place and off TPN. Since her broviac surgery, Audrey has not yet been able to tolerate full strength formula. while meeting with her new doc we discussed changing out her GJ tube. GJ's are usually good for 3-6 months. Since we don't want her without it, the plan is to change it every 3 months though it's already been 4. So plans were made to change it out which is done in interventional radiology. Low and behold, the very next day her tube broke!! Some girls have all the luck! With some finagling, she was able to get it changed the next day. Unfortunately, anytime we touch her tummy it freezes in terror. So she slept through thanksgiving and black Friday barely tolerating a low rate of pedialyte. Now we are back to her normal rate but still half strength formula. Right now we are very thankful for TPN!

So this is where we are. She is once again sleeping a lot. Most days she is only able to go up the stairs halfway and then struggles to crawl the rest. Today I noticed her leg muscles are getting weaker. She was barely able to lift her leg up for me to put her sock on. Is this disease progression? Is this just a result of excessive sleep and muscle loss? Is it from her decrease in feeding tolerance? I'm not sure what the answer is or what we do for now. For now I'm just loving my girl and her brother, trying to take advantage of her fun and spunky self.

Driving into work today I was listening to a Talor Swift/BOB song. The chorus she sings really caught me: "I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both of us. Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us." This is my hope for my girl. Some day Miss
Audrey, we will beat this awful disease!

Here are some pictures of November in a nutshell...grouchy post op, pink sleepy head after blood, new big girl bed, bleeding and bruising, sleep study, g-tube turkey and post thanksgiving laziness

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

An update

It's been awhile since I've done an update because things have been status quo. Audrey started preschool the day after her birthday. She goes for 2 hours a day 5 days a week. While she's there she gets her PT, OT and speech therapy. She's with 5 other kids who have various delays from muscular dystrophy to speech delay. She also has an RN with her at all times. She loves going to school now! It wears her out, she usually sleeps most of the day after school, but she's learning to interact with other kids and many other things. Her speech has improved dramatically which is great for everyone. We hope she will continue to build up endurance. Out of the last eight weeks she has only been able to go to school for 5 days once. Well, it's good to have goals!

Medically there has not been many changes. She is still on her TPN and still only getting 17mls/hr of feeding. Each time we try going up to 18 her gut completely stops but we keep trying hoping one day it will work. She was seen by surgery today to discuss getting a new, more permanent central line placed. I have been avoiding this as the thought scares me but here we are. Central lines have a higher risk of more serious infections. However, Audrey has had continuous problems with her current line which has lead to a high risk of an infection as it is. So November 6th she'll be admitted with surgery planned on the 7th. She stay overnight after surgery because of her pulmonary stuff and if all goes as planned home on the 8th. Fingers crossed we don't get trapped :)

Aside from the line and feeding stuff things are mostly going well. She is growing and getting stronger all the time. She is sweet and sassy and so full of life that we are great full for all the medical advances letting her thrive with us at home. We hope that this line placement will be the last procedure she will need for a long time. She hasn't been inpatient since July so maybe we are finally on the right track with her! Also her pediatrician brought up she hasn't had any new symptoms from her mitochondrial disease since May so maybe she has reached a plateau with her disease. That being said we are starting cold a flu season and with every cold and sickness she gets she is a risk for disease progression. Needless to say, I am very nervous about how this winter will go.

We are planning on going to Disneyland for Mickey's Halloween this week so pictures to follow. Audrey will be dressed as Rapunzel, surprise surprise ;) I will update after her survey in 2 weeks...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Mitochondrial Disease Awareness week

If you haven't heard already, it is mitochondrial disease awareness week. What does that mean? It's the week where families all over the world talk non-stop about the disease that has affected their lives so much. Have you heard of it? Are you tired of me posting about it? I hope so! How is it possible that so many people have never heard about a disease that takes more children's lives than cancer?? This disease affects 1 in 3000 children by age 10 and yet no one can even tell you what a mitochondria is. Well let me tell you again what we deal with every day...

Mitochondria are the power houses to all the cells of your body. They take the food that you eat and turn it into the energy for your body to use. Try to think back to 9th grade biology when you learned about the Krebs cycle and ATP. There you go, that where the problems start. Imagine a remote control car. When the batteries are fully charged you can zoom it up and down the street over and over. The remote control works well and it's lots of fun. When the battery is almost empty it starts to slow down. It's slow to respond to the remote control until it doesn't work at all. That is mitochondrial disease. The mitochondria power up your cells. Make them zoom around and perform their programmed task. But when they have mitochondrial disease some cells only make half the energy they are supposed to, some don't make any at all. So the body moves slow and is slow to respond to the brain or remote control. Each cell has different amounts of mitochondria. The skin cells have very few, so mitochondrial disease doesn't really affect the skin. The brain cells have thousands of mitochondria so mitochondrial disease REALLY affects the brain. So if you think of the hardest working organs and parts of your body you can see where mito can do the most damage.  Everyone with mitochondrial disease has different symptoms. This is because the number of affected mitochondrial in each cell is unknown. So you can have mito where your cells only make 10% of the energy they are supposed to but it only affects 2% of your cells so you have mild symptoms. Then you can have someone else whose mitochondria make only 40% of the energy they are supposed to but 80% of their cells are affected so they have very severe symptoms. To add more confusion, symptoms can vary everyday. On good days, the mitochondria can function well and the unaffected mitochondria can step it up. Add something like a minor cold or a little over exertion and affected mitochondria can stop working completely and leave only the few unaffected mitochondria to run the show. These can be very bad mito disease. Sometimes you can recover to baseline and sometimes the changes are permanent or at least long lasting. These challenges make diagnosis mitochondrial disease very tricky.

Just in time for mitochondrial disease awareness week we finally got back the type and confirmation of Audrey's disease. This was a mixed blessing. It is a relief to know for sure this is what is wrong with her. We haven't missed some rare disease that we could have been treating. Obviously though, she definitely has a horrible disease which not only cannot be cured but does not even have a treatment. It's a disease that we don't know what will bring to her in the future. She could get better, she could stay the same or she could deteriorate before our eyes and there is nothing that will tell us what will happen or when. We will live in fear of every cold or stress she goes through that maybe this will be the time she has a mito crash she can't recover from.

Audrey's muscle biopsy results show she is affected in complex I. There are 5 complexes in the mitochondrial energy cycle. The defective part of her mitochondria affect 2 parts of the cycle. This enzyme in Audrey functions at 7% of what it should be functioning. What does this mean? We don't know. No one knows how this will affect her or what her outcome will be. In the meantime though she is thriving and that is what we can focus on today.

Audrey is doing better right now, then she has since she was diagnosed. She has good energy and is only sleeping 15 hours a day. Her speech is improving every day and she is making 4-5 word sentences finally. She is slowly getting stronger and is definitely getting bigger. She is silly and happy and playful.These are the things we focus on. Yes, she still needs oxygen and IV nutrition. Yes, she has not been able to tolerate any more formula through her feeding tube. But all of her interventions are helping her grow and become strong again, and for now that is the only treatment we have for her.

Below are some links for mitochondrial disease awareness week. The first is a video made about Audrey's journey the past year. The second is a link to a photographer friend who took beautiful pictures of Audrey. It is awful and amazing to look back and think one year ago we were just starting this journey. Audrey was still eating and drinking food by mouth. She had never had an IV or surgery. She had no scars on her little body. Now, 12 months later, it's been 6 months since she's eaten anything by mouth. She's had several IV's and 2 central lines. She has 4 scars on her beautiful body. Our consolation is that we know what the problem is. Our hope is that we can find a cure for her before its too late. So help us and spread awareness. Tell everyone you know about mitochondrial disease. Ask questions, google, investigate and donate. Our mito warriors need all the help they can get.

One year with mito

Kevin Amick photography

Friday, September 7, 2012

Catching up

I apologize for the long space between postings, life is crazy as usual! So what is new with our journey with mito...

Audrey continues on her PN and lipids through her PICC line 24 hours a day. It has been 4.5 months and she has not made any progress with her feedings. The good news is she is growing well. Her height is up to the 65% and her weight went from the 8% to the 80%!!! So she is on a little TPN diet right now :) She looks great right now so that is what is important. Her feeding intolerance continues to be a source of frustration. She receives 17mls an hour and her goal is 40mls per hour. So she is not quite at half her rate. Any attempt to increase has been met with disaster within a few days, her gut just stops working. She pours out huge amounts of bile from her g-tube and nothing comes out the other end. Oh well, I guess the PN is what she needs right now.

Aside from her nutrition, since I wrote last Audrey has had 2 hospital stays, 3 procedures, 3 x-rays and 2 blood transfusions. Not to mention her countless doctors appointments. Yep, she keeps me busy. This week has been a big week for change for her. She had her last sessions with her therapists from regional center. This was very sad as she's been working with them for a year now. Especially Anne, her physical therapist. They really bonded and she will be greatly missed. Since Audrey turned three, she started with the school district. She goes 5 days a week for 2 hours and they work her PT, OT and speech therapy into those 2 hours and "normal" preschool stuff like A, B, C's. She's gone 2 days so far and loves it! Yay! For all you who remember my blogs about the horror of dropping her off at daycare, I was understandably nervous about how this drop off would go, but so far so good!

So that is pretty much all that is going on right now. There are definitely changes coming up that I will write more about later and Mitochondrial Disease Awareness Week starts September 16th so be prepared to hear alot more about mito!

Big girl is three!

Last day with Anne :(


A lollipop for Audrey

A happy birthday button